holy crap I can use pidgin to post to my journal. This is pretty awesome, hahaha.

I had a weird dream last night that Mrs Peggy from next door spoke Russian fluently, only it was Russian gibberish. She was having a conversation in Russian with some kid I went to high school with. I felt all inferior because I couldn't understand a word, only we were in a room, where her words were spelled out on an overhead screen as she spoke, and I could see with my own eyes that the words were nonsense.

Anyway, I've been watching The Haunting. Not the cinematic catastrophe frp, '99 with Catherine Zeta Jones. It's the black and white one from the 60s with Claire Bloom as Theo instead...who, by the way, makes a much better Theo. Her subtlety is much more sexy than Catherine Zeta Jones' overt, sultry character. Theo is intended to be intellectually attractive, not physicially. Julie Harris makes a better Eleanor too - but Lili Taylor's Nell is pretty close to Harris's performance, so I can't really say either is better...

I think the lesbian in me is totally getting off on the hints of homoeroticism all over this movie. The cocky, aristocratic men and the intelligent, sensitive women... all the mind games, the sexual tension, the eloquent conversation. Maybe it's just a sexy movie altogether. The cinematography is classically appealing as well - the high contrast black and white and the extreme or awkward camera angles. Raise the contrast just a little more, and it would be very film noir.

It makes me want to drink some brandy and paint my toenails.

I was reliving my childhood and watching Kermit sing "It's not easy being green" on youtube.

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So...I live in this place called Johnsonville. I've lived here for a million years...and yet, my mailing address says I live in Cameron, and all my Fayetteville friends say I live in Sanford... Over the course of growing up, this caused a little conflict of identity. Nobody knew where I was from, and as far as I knew I didn't actually live in big ol' Cameron, and I definitely wasn't from freaking Sanford, and despite the fact that the NC census says I'm part of Olivia, I'm not even 100% on where Olivia is.

Well, it turns out that Johnsonville isn't just some strange alien word I keep seeing all over local signs and such. Apparently Johnsonville is a township. It's a real live, established place...only it's not big enough to be called a city...or even a town.

It's an unincorporated township, which is cool, because apparently nowhere under the name Johnsonville will you find a WalMart, a McDonalds, or any other huge, obnoxious corporate attack... not yet, anyway. A Foodlion and a Dollar General managed to creep in somehow...And you won't get fucking cell phone reception in these back woods either, no matter what kind of fancy high tech shit you try to hook up to your phone. Hell! We didn't even have high speed internet until about 3 years ago - not because we couldn't afford it...it's just that no one knew where the hell Johnsonville was! Yet without any corporate sponsorship, Johnsonville is awesome enough to have it's own, albeit small, wikipedia article! We're mostly made up of farmers and disabled veterans who own harleys or small businesses. We have a Johnsonville Veteran's memorial and everything. The VFW is like the fucking Mafia here.

I guess I'm happy to have grown up in a place where my family had to drive a minimum of 30 minutes to pump my brain full of Mickey D's and Wally World. I didn't even see a Starbucks until I went to Boston when I was in high school. I was mostly surrounded by ma and pa corner stores and mechanic shops, and I knew all the people who worked at these places personally. Gosh Darn, we even have an elementary school in good ol' Johnsonville! That's right, there was a time when I went to school walking distance from home out in small town NC. And yes, we even have our own cook book, which is freaking awesome if you ask me. As a matter of fact, from what I hear a few cities over in Stedman (another bumfuck nowhere NC town...wait, Stedman is big enough to be considered a City in the NC scheme of things..what am I talking about?), we Johnsonvillers are famous for some kind of brotwurst festival we have...but I wouldn't know about that part (being a vegetarian and all).

Sometimes I swear, living in NC is like living in a foreign country...and living in Johnsonville? Well, I may as well live in Siberia.

I'm proud to be a Johnsonvillian! Wooo! J-Ville Whoop whoop!

Rot, rot, rot, rot!
It's a plot, plot, plot, plot!
We're the Wickersham brothers.
We're onto your plot!
Pretending you're talking to whos who are not!
It's a deep, dire, evil political plot,
Pretending you're talking to whos who are not.
We're the Wickersham Brothers.
We're vigilant spotters.
Hot shot spotters of rotters and plotters.
And we're going to save our sons and our daughters from you.
You're a dastardly, ghastardly, shnasterdly, schnook,
Trying to brainwash our brains,
With this gobbledy gook.
We know what you're up to pal.
You're trying to shatter our morale.
You're trying to stir up discontent.
And seize the reigns of government.
You're trying to throw sand in our eyes.
You're trying to kill free enterprise.
And raise the cost of figs and dates,
And wreck our compound interest rates.
And shut our schools,
And steal our jewels,
And even change our football rules.
Take away our garden tools,
And lock us up in vestibules!
But fortunately, we're no fools!
We're the Wickersham brothers,
And we know your type!
And we're putting a stop to this ____ strike!
We're the Wickersham brothers.
We're squashing your plot!
There'll be no more talking to whos who are not!

Мне голос был...

Мне голос был. Он звал утешно.
Он говорил: "Иди сюда,
Оставь свой край глухой и грешный.
Оставь Россию навсегда.
Я кровь от рук твоих отмою,
Из сердца выну черный стыд,
Я новым именем покрою
Боль поражений и обид".
Но равнодушно и спокойно
Руками я замкнула слух,
Чтоб этой речью недостойной
Не осквернился скорбный слух.

I'm scanner-capable now, so I've been busy. Just go look at the new journal, jack_banditt, and you'll see that I've been busy. I'll be putting something up every day. I've got more than 80 entries lined up...well, really 30 if you cut out all the especially crappy ones. In any case, it's better than just bitching about how miserable I am. At least I can entertain someone in the process.

I'd like to live with you
In a little town,
With its eternal twilights
And eternal bells.
And in a little village inn -
The faint chime
Of ancient clocks - like droplets of time.
And sometimes, in the evenings,
from some garret -
A flute,
And the flautist in the window.
And big tulips in the window sills.
And maybe, you would even love me...